My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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