He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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