I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she peed on how many people?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
