No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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