i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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