the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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