Redeem this text for a blowjob
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
