I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
