I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
God, I missed his penis.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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