I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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