I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
