I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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