The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize