Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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