Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
