Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
