I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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