Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
