she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
