yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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