you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
