i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
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He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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