opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
