i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
