Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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