I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
