the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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