YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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