he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
