Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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