I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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