Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
