god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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