My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
