We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
