so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
