My first STD was from a foam party
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
