watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You ruined the universe
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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