Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
