I skipped work to stalk him.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
