idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
