I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
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The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
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He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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