Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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