i just google imaged poop.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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