I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
