I like to think it a success when the cops are called
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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