I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
