Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
