We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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