***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
