Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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