Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
