Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
