i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
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That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dicks are not precious.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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