Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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