Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
not ubering you a puppy
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
the raccoons are back...
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