Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
