i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just found a bag of teeth...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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