Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
