So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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